In an Instant, Everything Changed
I burnt out, y’all.
I was going and meeting and doing all the things all the time. Then one day the fire went out. It was like a light switch. My body finally had enough of my lifestyle, and I started to struggle with energy levels, attention span, and many other aspects of my physical and emotional well-being.
No supplement could touch my levels of anxiety and fatigue. I was getting to the point where I could not escape feelings of dread and uncertainty about the future.
You may say that I was not cut out to be a modern business women. I say: I challenge the existing paradigm and the need to fit into the traditional masculine role as female business owners. Newsflash, we are not men, we are not designed the same (mentally, hormonally, etc). We do not operate the same way. As a mother, I had an even greater struggle honoring my feminine motherly instinct and living in a male-dominated entrepreneurial world.
My husband just could not understand why I wasn’t up at 4 am with him to start my work day to then work until sundown. Why I struggled to keep my mental health together while nursing my then 6 month old son all night long. Why I didn’t have the energy and stamina to grow a young son and a young business simultaneously.
Deciding to Leave California
Have you ever experienced a pivotal moment when you thought,
"Enough is enough, I'm going to pursue my dreams no matter what?"
That's exactly where I found myself in March of 2020. I had just relocated my commercial kitchen from downtown Pasadena to my cabin in Big Bear, CA.
I was overwhelmed by unfulfilled orders, without a sitter for my young son, and faced with massive uncertainty regarding my once-thriving meal delivery company in Los Angeles.
After much contemplation, my family and I made the difficult decision to close our business and move back to my hometown in North Carolina. It was a challenging time, as we had to say goodbye to the business that had once grossed over $30,000 a month. We were essentially starting from scratch, transitioning from business owners to aspiring farmers.
We found a small 5-acre parcel of land and immediately got to work renovating and adding the barn, fencing, and other infrastructure we needed to run a thriving farm. Despite the challenges, I was determined to make this new venture a success. One of my non-negotiables was learning how to start a garden, so we set them up on the hillside next to the barn.
Honey, Let’s Start a Farm
The transition was not without its difficulties. In the first year, all I managed to grow was a single tomato plant, despite having six 20-foot-long raised beds. It was a humbling experience, but it only fueled my determination to figure out how to start a garden ASAP.
Fast forward to today, and our farm has transformed beyond my wildest dreams. We've added a permaculture installation in the front yard, featuring 12 fruit trees and over 50 medicinal and edible plants. Every inch of my raised beds is now bursting with thriving vegetables, and we are able to grow 100% of our own meat, 80% of our own vegetables, and 60% of our own fruit.
My husband, though supportive financially, is not interested in the farm as much as I am and therefore I end up doing 100% of the work. It doesn’t bother me and beats the heck out of working for someone else inside a building somewhere. I wouldn’t change a thing about it!
What We Raise
Our livestock operation expanded significantly within the first year. We had started with just three horses and have since added two beef cows, one dairy cow, an Idaho pasture pig that gives us two litters of piglets a year, a meat rabbit operation, 20 laying hens, three geese and a guardian dog for protection. Twice a year, we raise 60 heritage breed chickens for our freezer.
It took a lot of deliberation and trial and error to finally decide on the types of animals we wanted to raise. For me it truly came down to the amount of input in relation to output from each species. The low maintenance cattle always appealed to me. There is very little input to yield enough meat for my family for an entire year.
Rabbits always appealed to me as a sustainable way to feed our dogs (two indoor and one outdoor guardian dog). Their easy going nature, little footprint, and high rate of reproduction were all winning points to me.
Apart from that, the rest of the animals kind of fell into my lap. They were either given to me or intentionally purchased to see if they fit into my farm (and they all did, quite well).
Finally, Home.
The journey from closing a successful business to becoming self-sufficient farmers has been challenging, but incredibly rewarding. It has taught me the value of perseverance, hard work, and the importance of following your dreams, no matter how daunting they may seem.
Looking back on that pivotal moment in March 2020, I am grateful for the courage to make the leap into the unknown. It has led me to a life that is more fulfilling and sustainable, not just for me, but for my family as well. If you ever find yourself at a crossroads, unsure of whether to pursue your dreams — take that leap. You never know where it might lead you.
